Remember two years ago? I had an unforgettable birthday. All my friends celebrated for me after school and you accompanied me for the whole day also. Memories are just wonderful, especially this. First love is always the best, finally both of us understand why everybody said this. We used to talk about our future, about our family, our dream house and even about our babies. That were just so sweet and wonderful. I never believed about forever and never trusted a guy about their sweet talk, but what have you done for me seriously touched me and made me love you this much. But guess what, everything have passed, now you've found a new girl who you want to live for and care for. Not me anymore. That's sad, so sad. But what can I ever do? All I can do is just LET IT GO. If he belongs to you, he will also come back to you someday, even if it may be many years after this. Now all you can do is be his friend and cheer him up? That's all you can do for him. :) Even if it may be quite hurt sometimes because he's loving another girl? :'/
Aghhh gonna back to the reality and start my own life after tomorrow! Tomorrow will be meeting him at KLCC, may be the last time we meet? I don't know. But at least I can spend my birthday with him, that's also the last thing he can do for me. Eventhough the facts have clearly showed that he does not love me anymore, but still in the heart I will ask myself will him love me back when he sees me? Will the feeling comes back to him? Agh STOP THINKING TOO MUCH CHRISTY GOH. This may be happen, but this relationship can never be saved anymore. :(
You know what? He could not sleep for two days just because he scared the girl will leave this and couple back with this ex, omg. I felt so much pain in the heart after I know that. Firstly, I don't want him to get hurt. Secondly, I'm getting hurt. WHY WHY WHY EVERYBODY HAS TO GET HURT. I know why, this is just a process of growing up and growing mature. But this stage is just too hard, for everybody. I know I can never own him anymore, all were just memories. I'm clear in my mind about what is going on and what should I do, but the feelings just don't go away. Still can't believe that tomorrow is already the day, the day to truely giving up on him. Actually not giving up, but letting go. I really love this guy, but just because I love him too much, I just have to let go. :') I will never love anybody that deep anymore, all I need is a steady life with bunch of crazy and good friends to finish my school life with me. ;) It doesn't mean that I don't believe in love anymore, but not now, for sure.
Okay I'm feeling really tired right now, have to off to sleep. Tomorrow will have to return back his jacket to him, feeling so reluctant goshhh...this jacket had accompanied me for one year I guess, had been through so many things with me. Whenever I was feeling depressed or alone I would just cry it out and hugged it and get into sleep with it.... but think what, I still have to let go. Hope that tomorrow will be a good day saying good bye to him. :') Wish me good luck.
No comments:
Post a Comment