Goshhh this is just unbelievable. What have I done in the past year? I TRUELY ACCEPTED A GUY AND LOVED HIM WITH ALL MY HEART. -.- I changed so much for this person, and now finally I realize how stupid I was. Why did I sacrifice so much for a guy? Why did I love him more than myself? Why did I live for him? Okay, I admit that was a sweet memory, but it all should get vanished since the day he told me he doesn't love me anymore. =.= Why do I have to be so sad for someone who doesn't even know how to appreciate me? Am I not worthy for it? Am I that cheap? LOL.
Remember why did he like you? Because you were just so positive and always welcomed your friends with your charming smile, wasn't it? You were once a positive girl with thousand hopes in your mind and never live for anybody, but just for yourself. That was why you did everything so perfectly because you didn't want to fail in anything, you just wanted to show your best. But since when? Since when you need somebody to stay by your side and overcome stuffs with you? THAT'S RIGHT, since your mom left you. He was the one who stayed by your side and never left you by your own, maybe that was why you accidentally fall for him? So this is the reason why adults always say that teenagers who have problems in family will try to find a boyfriend or girlfriend because they are short of love .__. so I became one of the victims.
Honestly, I should thank that he leaves me now. Because without him, I can hold my own dreams and do things more freely, without getting restricted by any controls. I can have my own dream like how I used to have. I can plan for my university life at another country without worrying of him and have more adventurous challenges based on my own decisions. ;) I will not get controlled by anybody since now. Someday, I will be better, I will love myself more than anyone. I belong to myself. Because how do we love the others when we do not even know how to love ourselves? Finally I realize how childish I was, being like an idiot when I first lost him. -.- He doesn't really should mean anything to me, cause a truely mature guy will never betray his girlfriend and will take responsibility for their own woman okay. If he can do this to me, for the same he can do the same to the other girls also. Imagine how if I really got married with him? Guess I will be even worse now homg.
Back to the reality girl. Nobody will accompany you til the end, every person will only be with you for just A PERIOD OF TIME. You came to this world by your own, and of course will leave this world by your own also. If you want to live with no regrets, first you just have to LOVE YOURSELF. This is the main principle. So true and so useful. Stop living in the korean dramas, every drama has an end. And after the dramas, you just have to continue your life awesomely.
I shouldn't hate him or dislike him, but I just feel so not worthy to get myself into such deep depression because of him. /.\ He will not mean anything to me anymore, just a past tense. Now I finally understand why I did not want to start any relationships when I was single, I was rational enough to have all these concepts in my mind, but I couldn't resist from the temptations lol. But now, after a REAL EXPERIENCE I had by myself, I know that love is not something you SAY, but take ACTION. Love is not about kisses or hugs, not about controlling each other, but respecting each other and never betray each other. When you truely love someone, you will never promise a forever, because you can't predict what will happen next. If you truely love a girl, you have to be really mature enough to protect her. Never tell a girl who loves you that you will love her forever, cause not every girl can afford the sadness if you betrayed your words.
But now, I overcame all these. Now everytime when I look at the monkey - BOBI which he had given me, I will not think of him, but I will tell myself to love myself more and be confident. Be an independent and courageous girl, not a weak girl who needs someone to take care of. ;) This is a promise to myself. <3 font="" nbsp="">
2014/04/29
2014/04/24
After Two Years, 25/4/2014.
Remember two years ago? I had an unforgettable birthday. All my friends celebrated for me after school and you accompanied me for the whole day also. Memories are just wonderful, especially this. First love is always the best, finally both of us understand why everybody said this. We used to talk about our future, about our family, our dream house and even about our babies. That were just so sweet and wonderful. I never believed about forever and never trusted a guy about their sweet talk, but what have you done for me seriously touched me and made me love you this much. But guess what, everything have passed, now you've found a new girl who you want to live for and care for. Not me anymore. That's sad, so sad. But what can I ever do? All I can do is just LET IT GO. If he belongs to you, he will also come back to you someday, even if it may be many years after this. Now all you can do is be his friend and cheer him up? That's all you can do for him. :) Even if it may be quite hurt sometimes because he's loving another girl? :'/
Aghhh gonna back to the reality and start my own life after tomorrow! Tomorrow will be meeting him at KLCC, may be the last time we meet? I don't know. But at least I can spend my birthday with him, that's also the last thing he can do for me. Eventhough the facts have clearly showed that he does not love me anymore, but still in the heart I will ask myself will him love me back when he sees me? Will the feeling comes back to him? Agh STOP THINKING TOO MUCH CHRISTY GOH. This may be happen, but this relationship can never be saved anymore. :(
You know what? He could not sleep for two days just because he scared the girl will leave this and couple back with this ex, omg. I felt so much pain in the heart after I know that. Firstly, I don't want him to get hurt. Secondly, I'm getting hurt. WHY WHY WHY EVERYBODY HAS TO GET HURT. I know why, this is just a process of growing up and growing mature. But this stage is just too hard, for everybody. I know I can never own him anymore, all were just memories. I'm clear in my mind about what is going on and what should I do, but the feelings just don't go away. Still can't believe that tomorrow is already the day, the day to truely giving up on him. Actually not giving up, but letting go. I really love this guy, but just because I love him too much, I just have to let go. :') I will never love anybody that deep anymore, all I need is a steady life with bunch of crazy and good friends to finish my school life with me. ;) It doesn't mean that I don't believe in love anymore, but not now, for sure.
Okay I'm feeling really tired right now, have to off to sleep. Tomorrow will have to return back his jacket to him, feeling so reluctant goshhh...this jacket had accompanied me for one year I guess, had been through so many things with me. Whenever I was feeling depressed or alone I would just cry it out and hugged it and get into sleep with it.... but think what, I still have to let go. Hope that tomorrow will be a good day saying good bye to him. :') Wish me good luck.
Aghhh gonna back to the reality and start my own life after tomorrow! Tomorrow will be meeting him at KLCC, may be the last time we meet? I don't know. But at least I can spend my birthday with him, that's also the last thing he can do for me. Eventhough the facts have clearly showed that he does not love me anymore, but still in the heart I will ask myself will him love me back when he sees me? Will the feeling comes back to him? Agh STOP THINKING TOO MUCH CHRISTY GOH. This may be happen, but this relationship can never be saved anymore. :(
You know what? He could not sleep for two days just because he scared the girl will leave this and couple back with this ex, omg. I felt so much pain in the heart after I know that. Firstly, I don't want him to get hurt. Secondly, I'm getting hurt. WHY WHY WHY EVERYBODY HAS TO GET HURT. I know why, this is just a process of growing up and growing mature. But this stage is just too hard, for everybody. I know I can never own him anymore, all were just memories. I'm clear in my mind about what is going on and what should I do, but the feelings just don't go away. Still can't believe that tomorrow is already the day, the day to truely giving up on him. Actually not giving up, but letting go. I really love this guy, but just because I love him too much, I just have to let go. :') I will never love anybody that deep anymore, all I need is a steady life with bunch of crazy and good friends to finish my school life with me. ;) It doesn't mean that I don't believe in love anymore, but not now, for sure.
Okay I'm feeling really tired right now, have to off to sleep. Tomorrow will have to return back his jacket to him, feeling so reluctant goshhh...this jacket had accompanied me for one year I guess, had been through so many things with me. Whenever I was feeling depressed or alone I would just cry it out and hugged it and get into sleep with it.... but think what, I still have to let go. Hope that tomorrow will be a good day saying good bye to him. :') Wish me good luck.
2014/04/21
Process of Curing.
Hmmm have been depressed for so many days since I lost him. At first seriously couldn't accept the fact, who can imagine that someone who always put you in the first place will suddenly tell you that he doesn't love you anymore? About ten days ago he was still holding your hands, hugging you and telling you that he loves you, but ten days later he tells you that he fall in love for another girl. :/ Haihh that's what we called as life. Wonderful things can never last forever, the promises will never become true. But it's okay, he did not lie to me, cause I believe that he once thought that he will love me forever also, cause he really loved me so much so much until I cannot believe that someone can love me more than myself. Just like now, I love him more than myself either, eventhough I used to think that I love myself more than anybody else on earth..hmm :P
Have tried my best to view and read everything that happened in the past through facebook and blogger and realized how happy I was about two years ago. Now I think I can understand why he could fall so hard for me....I was really cuteness overload ohmygoshhhh. Not being perasan but seriouslyy. Never knew that I was once a happy kid that always smile and think in such positive ways. Yeahhh.... that was the Christy Goh, the girl that never give up on life and always believe that life is cheerful and will not get defeated by any situations. Look at all the photos I've posted in 2012, I was so amazed of it cause of the happy and sampat faces I used to have. Since when the cheerful Christy has gone? I guess since mom left us and when our family got into a mess, that was the hardest time of my life. Remember since that time, I started to close my heart and against the communications with other people. Why? Because I felt that nobody will understand me, even if I tell them my problems still nobody can ever help me, that's why I started to love being alone. All I had were only few closest friends. And when my 'closest friends' started to just ignore me a little bit, I will feel ultra alone and super emo. THAT WAS HOW CHRISTY GOH CHANGED.
But guess what, he was the only one who never abandon me but still staying beside me, although I hurted him that much. Maybe because of the loneliness I had, I chose to accept him and became totally dependant on him, taking him as my world. He was the one who made me still feel there's love in this world under such bad conditions. I truly appreciate this relationship we used to have, so happy so happy. :3 xD
So now, I decided to let it go~ let it go~ xD can't hold it back anymore~ haha xD this Friday, my birthday he will come and meet me to celebrate birthday for me, and give me a big big friendly goodbye hug hehe. That hug may be the last hug between us I guess. Really hope someday we will meet each other and continue our stories again, but alright, fate can not be controlled. Thank him for all these, and me Christy Goh will start to climb up again and become independent like how I used to be. NOTHING CAN EVER DEFEAT ME WAKAKAKAK. xD Gonna be myself and live hard, play hard while enjoying my life.
I used to be a strong girl who never need anybody to take care of. But since you fall for me, you gave me unlimited cares. You accompanied me when I did work til midnight, worried for me when I had my period, forced me to eat when I ate too little, and also rushed me to sleep when time was already too late. From a little girl who never afraid of dark or being alone, I started to become get used to your presence and lastly I really thought I could not live without you. In the first few days without you, I was afraid of everything. Afraid of the darkness in the night, afraid of the thunder and storms in the rain, afraid of the dogs when I go to school and many other things. But until I read all the posts and statuses I've posted two years ago, finally I knew and found back the old me. I was never afraid of these, that was me, that was the real me, so glad that the ending of this relationship will get me to find back the nature me. :))) That's all for today, I have to stop playing computer and memorize my syarahan! Bye guys, loves xoxo. <3 p="">
Have tried my best to view and read everything that happened in the past through facebook and blogger and realized how happy I was about two years ago. Now I think I can understand why he could fall so hard for me....I was really cuteness overload ohmygoshhhh. Not being perasan but seriouslyy. Never knew that I was once a happy kid that always smile and think in such positive ways. Yeahhh.... that was the Christy Goh, the girl that never give up on life and always believe that life is cheerful and will not get defeated by any situations. Look at all the photos I've posted in 2012, I was so amazed of it cause of the happy and sampat faces I used to have. Since when the cheerful Christy has gone? I guess since mom left us and when our family got into a mess, that was the hardest time of my life. Remember since that time, I started to close my heart and against the communications with other people. Why? Because I felt that nobody will understand me, even if I tell them my problems still nobody can ever help me, that's why I started to love being alone. All I had were only few closest friends. And when my 'closest friends' started to just ignore me a little bit, I will feel ultra alone and super emo. THAT WAS HOW CHRISTY GOH CHANGED.
But guess what, he was the only one who never abandon me but still staying beside me, although I hurted him that much. Maybe because of the loneliness I had, I chose to accept him and became totally dependant on him, taking him as my world. He was the one who made me still feel there's love in this world under such bad conditions. I truly appreciate this relationship we used to have, so happy so happy. :3 xD
So now, I decided to let it go~ let it go~ xD can't hold it back anymore~ haha xD this Friday, my birthday he will come and meet me to celebrate birthday for me, and give me a big big friendly goodbye hug hehe. That hug may be the last hug between us I guess. Really hope someday we will meet each other and continue our stories again, but alright, fate can not be controlled. Thank him for all these, and me Christy Goh will start to climb up again and become independent like how I used to be. NOTHING CAN EVER DEFEAT ME WAKAKAKAK. xD Gonna be myself and live hard, play hard while enjoying my life.
I used to be a strong girl who never need anybody to take care of. But since you fall for me, you gave me unlimited cares. You accompanied me when I did work til midnight, worried for me when I had my period, forced me to eat when I ate too little, and also rushed me to sleep when time was already too late. From a little girl who never afraid of dark or being alone, I started to become get used to your presence and lastly I really thought I could not live without you. In the first few days without you, I was afraid of everything. Afraid of the darkness in the night, afraid of the thunder and storms in the rain, afraid of the dogs when I go to school and many other things. But until I read all the posts and statuses I've posted two years ago, finally I knew and found back the old me. I was never afraid of these, that was me, that was the real me, so glad that the ending of this relationship will get me to find back the nature me. :))) That's all for today, I have to stop playing computer and memorize my syarahan! Bye guys, loves xoxo. <3 p="">
2014/04/20
好好说再见 o(︶︿︶)o
昨天其实草稿了我们以前的点点滴滴，到十二点多却还是到我们去yes camp那里罢了。回忆真的是太多太多，一边打着我们的故事一边有着幸福满溢的感觉。从来没有一个男孩可以这样闯进我的心里。从起初的好感、暧昧变成反感严恶再到放下戒心重新被感动然后真正爱上你，足足两年的回忆。这两年啊，说它长其实并不是很长，但是说短的话，我却把它当成了标志我中学生活的徽章。应该不该说是中学生活的徽章，应该说是我最刻苦铭心的初恋。曾经，我把kang thye当成是我的初恋，因为那时候把他‘当成’是男朋友。其实呢，我们连真正的牵手走街都没试过，又何为拍拖呢？o(╯□╰)o 所以我现在想说，Sean Yung Chien Mun才是我的初恋，唯一一个我真正全心全意投入进去爱的一个人。也是第一个我想托福我的一辈子幸福的人。曾经我们相爱，彼此都天真的以为这初恋也会是我们的最后一个恋爱最后一个伴侣以后将会一起结婚生孩子过着幸福的生活。❤
但往往事实就是残酷的，如今我亲爱的他爱上了别人。刚开始真的好难好难接受，简直崩溃了。起初还固执的坚信那或许是因为没了我的陪伴而对别人有了错觉，但是经过妈咪和他妈咪的解说后，我慢慢发现原来真的是我自己太自私了。我为了继续占有他才拼命找借口想把他留在我身边，我真的好自私。我曾经说他不应该因为失恋变了整个人，但是原来我也一样。我们都一样傻，为了爱情变得好傻。依我对你的了解，说真的，我知道你很爱她，所以你才会放下我。放下一个曾经这么爱的人谈何容易呢，但是你却肯为了她放下我，所以我知道你很爱她。你告诉我你只是很喜欢很喜欢她，但是不要骗我了吧，我懂你是爱上她了的。:) 不想伤害我罢了是吧。但是能怎样呢，我甘愿给你伤害，因为我爱你，我真的好爱你。爱到我那个以自己为中心的我都不见了。曾经我告诉你我爱我自己多过爱你，你告诉我你爱我多过爱你自己。但是到最后。。怎么相反了呢 :) 或许当初你真的是爱我多过你自己吧。但是我发现我并不是爱自己多过爱你呢，原来我爱你的程度远远超过了爱自己。因为为了你，我想要看见你开心。我放手，我要你去爱你真正爱的，我想要你用尽力气去呵护你爱的人。我祝福你们，因为我懂这样你才会开心。我不该为了自己的占有欲把你留下，让你过的不开心。虽然真的会很妒忌，但是一看了你以前被我抛下时写的部落格帖子，我有勇气让你去了，因为你是个值得我这么牺牲的人。:') 你曾经真的好傻好傻，或许是这一年多两年来被你传染了吧，我变得好像更傻了。我竟然为了爱你，去担心你爱的那个她。他感冒了，我慰问关心，因为我知道你会担心她，就像以前心疼我那样去心疼她。:') 不想要你担心，所以变得我也想去关心她了，难道这就是所谓的爱屋及乌吗。
大人们都告诉我说，缘分这事情不由得我不相信。缘分尽了就是尽了，假如还未尽的话或许以后我们都长大成人了都成熟了会在这世界的某个角落相遇回呢？或许那时候我们都是单身，然后再续前缘呢？这说不定啊，缘分这东西强求也没用，是你的就是你的。或许就是因为我那固执好胜的心态，所以硬要挽回吧。其实我应该想回当初我抛下你的时候，如果给我重新经历，我会回到你身边吗？说真的，就算再重来我也一样不会在当时回去你身边，因为我当初真的没有爱你。我不能因为怜悯你而跟你在一起，因为你不是动物。就好像现在，你是因为尊重我才不想欺骗我，才会离开我，因为你对我没剩多少爱了。真的谢谢你，谢谢你不是个没有良心的人。:) 但是我还是好伤，或许当初我没有选择来Johor我们现在的感情就会像当初那样一样这么甜蜜这么热恋着heheh, 但这只是如果有如果...
好好说再见，这首歌你说很好听，我去听了。我懂你为什么会觉得好听了，我也觉得真的好好听，歌词完全穿透了我们的心。歌词是这样的 :
我爱过妳笑的脸庞
我爱过妳心的善良
这些年有妳的时光
把我的孤独都照亮
我记得妳说过的话(时间留不住一句话)
我记得曾为妳疯狂(何时过了年少轻狂)
当情太深而缘太浅(当你离开我的世界)
至少要好好说再见(要怎么好好说再见)
一直以为真爱能直到永远
彼此相爱的每一天都是永远
一直以为我们有同一个明天
你曾是我的世界不完整的世界
如果花谢了会再开
如果错了的还能改
这些年累积的关怀
怎能说不在就不在
感情不该一直受伤(为何爱总是带着伤)
我不愿让妳再失望(有期望才会有失望)
当幸福碎成一片片(一颗心碎成一片片)
至少要好好说再见(要怎么好好说再见)
一直以为真爱能直到永远
彼此相爱的每一天都是永远
一直以为我们有同一个明天
你曾是我的世界不完整的世界
相信妳会过得更好(我还不想把你忘掉)
别丢弃妳无邪的笑(再见面还可以拥抱)
我记得妳说过的话(时间留不住一句话)
我记得曾为妳疯狂(何时过了年少轻狂)
当爱情不再像从前(你永远是我的从前)
原谅我沉默的再见
但往往事实就是残酷的，如今我亲爱的他爱上了别人。刚开始真的好难好难接受，简直崩溃了。起初还固执的坚信那或许是因为没了我的陪伴而对别人有了错觉，但是经过妈咪和他妈咪的解说后，我慢慢发现原来真的是我自己太自私了。我为了继续占有他才拼命找借口想把他留在我身边，我真的好自私。我曾经说他不应该因为失恋变了整个人，但是原来我也一样。我们都一样傻，为了爱情变得好傻。依我对你的了解，说真的，我知道你很爱她，所以你才会放下我。放下一个曾经这么爱的人谈何容易呢，但是你却肯为了她放下我，所以我知道你很爱她。你告诉我你只是很喜欢很喜欢她，但是不要骗我了吧，我懂你是爱上她了的。:) 不想伤害我罢了是吧。但是能怎样呢，我甘愿给你伤害，因为我爱你，我真的好爱你。爱到我那个以自己为中心的我都不见了。曾经我告诉你我爱我自己多过爱你，你告诉我你爱我多过爱你自己。但是到最后。。怎么相反了呢 :) 或许当初你真的是爱我多过你自己吧。但是我发现我并不是爱自己多过爱你呢，原来我爱你的程度远远超过了爱自己。因为为了你，我想要看见你开心。我放手，我要你去爱你真正爱的，我想要你用尽力气去呵护你爱的人。我祝福你们，因为我懂这样你才会开心。我不该为了自己的占有欲把你留下，让你过的不开心。虽然真的会很妒忌，但是一看了你以前被我抛下时写的部落格帖子，我有勇气让你去了，因为你是个值得我这么牺牲的人。:') 你曾经真的好傻好傻，或许是这一年多两年来被你传染了吧，我变得好像更傻了。我竟然为了爱你，去担心你爱的那个她。他感冒了，我慰问关心，因为我知道你会担心她，就像以前心疼我那样去心疼她。:') 不想要你担心，所以变得我也想去关心她了，难道这就是所谓的爱屋及乌吗。
大人们都告诉我说，缘分这事情不由得我不相信。缘分尽了就是尽了，假如还未尽的话或许以后我们都长大成人了都成熟了会在这世界的某个角落相遇回呢？或许那时候我们都是单身，然后再续前缘呢？这说不定啊，缘分这东西强求也没用，是你的就是你的。或许就是因为我那固执好胜的心态，所以硬要挽回吧。其实我应该想回当初我抛下你的时候，如果给我重新经历，我会回到你身边吗？说真的，就算再重来我也一样不会在当时回去你身边，因为我当初真的没有爱你。我不能因为怜悯你而跟你在一起，因为你不是动物。就好像现在，你是因为尊重我才不想欺骗我，才会离开我，因为你对我没剩多少爱了。真的谢谢你，谢谢你不是个没有良心的人。:) 但是我还是好伤，或许当初我没有选择来Johor我们现在的感情就会像当初那样一样这么甜蜜这么热恋着heheh, 但这只是如果有如果...
好好说再见，这首歌你说很好听，我去听了。我懂你为什么会觉得好听了，我也觉得真的好好听，歌词完全穿透了我们的心。歌词是这样的 :
我爱过妳笑的脸庞
我爱过妳心的善良
这些年有妳的时光
把我的孤独都照亮
我记得妳说过的话(时间留不住一句话)
我记得曾为妳疯狂(何时过了年少轻狂)
当情太深而缘太浅(当你离开我的世界)
至少要好好说再见(要怎么好好说再见)
一直以为真爱能直到永远
彼此相爱的每一天都是永远
一直以为我们有同一个明天
你曾是我的世界不完整的世界
如果花谢了会再开
如果错了的还能改
这些年累积的关怀
怎能说不在就不在
感情不该一直受伤(为何爱总是带着伤)
我不愿让妳再失望(有期望才会有失望)
当幸福碎成一片片(一颗心碎成一片片)
至少要好好说再见(要怎么好好说再见)
一直以为真爱能直到永远
彼此相爱的每一天都是永远
一直以为我们有同一个明天
你曾是我的世界不完整的世界
相信妳会过得更好(我还不想把你忘掉)
别丢弃妳无邪的笑(再见面还可以拥抱)
我记得妳说过的话(时间留不住一句话)
我记得曾为妳疯狂(何时过了年少轻狂)
当爱情不再像从前(你永远是我的从前)
原谅我沉默的再见
对啊，该怎么说再见呢。曾经我们天真的以为可以永远，如今才懂那只是个以为啊。不过还是谢谢你留给了我个这么美好的回忆。曾经啊曾经，这两年真的是非常戏剧化，现在回想还真像看了一套很长的爱情韩剧，也像是发了一场太美好太真实的美梦。不过呢，无论多长的韩剧也会有ending的那一天。虽然这结局并不是什么完美的结局，但是我真的很满足很感恩曾经拥有这么幸福的回忆。谢谢你，那个留给我这么多甜蜜幸福回忆的男孩，没了你或许我的生命还会是一如既往，没什么刻骨铭心的记忆。我也不会学的什么叫爱，你是教会了我什么是爱 :) 我真的觉得很幸福，不是每个人都可以像我这么幸运可以遇到一个这么疼爱自己的男人，把自己当成是公主那般来疼爱呵护。虽然现在没了，但是我知足了。曾经拥有已经很足够了。:) 就是因为曾经拥有才会变得这么完美吧 hehe :3 我这次真的是想开了，你也不要内疚了，感情是不能控制的。我也对不起曾这么自私的想要挽回你的心，我以后会过得开开心心的，你也要像以前疼爱我那样来疼爱你现在爱的女孩哦 因为为爱不顾一切的付出才是我认识的你，也就是因为你这个性格我才会曾经被打动啊hehe. 如今到我当那个傻瓜了，我会继续守护着你，爱着你，祝福着你开心。我们还真是天生一对的傻瓜啊，两个都为爱傻到极点hehe :3 但是天生一对不代表会孤独终老啦，只能说人生都会有些遗憾的事情，金童不一定配玉女，郎才也不一定配女貌，一生中的最爱也不一定会是陪你终老的那个。但是就是因为不完美，才算是实实在在的生活吧hehe. 谢谢你，生日后应该是时候跟你说再见了，不懂以后还有没有机会做朋友。好想继续跟你做朋友，但是我不想去打扰你，我知道你会对我很愧疚，我不想要你不开心，也不想要你为了要我对你死心而故意的去敷衍我。我知道你这样敷衍我你也不开心，zat我zat到我没话答你也不会多好受，但是就是因为为了要我对你死心。所以或许、以后不能再找你了。。。我努力吧
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